Have you ever had one of those days when you just can't do anything but mope around? Like all you want do is to be the most pathetic version of yourself? That was me yesterday. I definitely had a overly dramatic, sobbing, feel bad for myself day. Why? Sometimes I just do. Sometimes its triggered by something. Sometimes its a little bit of both...
If you know me IRL, you know that being overly dramatic is one of my many talents. I can over dramatize just about anything. Proud of that? No, not really. But in my 28 years, I have learned that its part of me and that I have to really work at controlling it. I am really good at pretending that I am too cool for school and super tough. But really, I'm not. Yesterday, I was having a pity party for one and its was a dozey... Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Still can't really eat, actually. I have that kicked in the gut feeling going on. You know the one.
Lucy was a fantastic little buddy yesterday. Amidst the, "I don't feel pretty, no one thinks I'm pretty anymore, blah blah blah"s Lucy piped in with "I wub (love) you, momma. You're jus so pwetty." I mean she is so perfect. We laid around in bed and watched Max & Ruby and she snuggled me. I snuggle her when she is upset all the time, I guess she was returning the favor :) But, alas, she is 2.5 and her attention spam is that of, well, a 2.5 year old. So after a while she looked at me and said, "Momma, I wub you. But Ninny (her nanny) is big (more) fun." I couldn't argue with her... With her off playing with Ninny that allowed me to watch more mature TV programing... You know, like Degrassi and Pretty Little Liars. Apparently I'm 15.
I decided yesterday that I would allow myself ONE day of that nonsense. One day of the lameness that I was so masterfully displaying. One day. Then I had to get over it. So thats what I'm doing today. Getting over it. Making a few changes in some areas of my life and limiting some contact in others. If I know anything about myself, I know that I need to strip somethings completely out of my life (sometimes for good, sometimes just temporarily) so as to not be tempted to kick the hornets nest... Know what I mean?
I'm pretty lucky to have such cuties for children because they always make me feel better, and to have a husband that just kinda rolls with the punches. He listens and gets that its not about him, and that sometimes I just need to lose it a bit. He also knows that the quickest way to make me feel better is with something sparkly... He's a genius:
And no, I don't really feel that down on myself... Again I was being over dramatic. Reacting poorly to something that I should not have reacted to at all. I actually think I'm pretty awesome... Most of the time :)